My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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