you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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