I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
