My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
