It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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