Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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