My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
