my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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