Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
