Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize