i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
