gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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