I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
