Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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