you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think your dad took our porno
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
