My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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