She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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