Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize