Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
