Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
