I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
