Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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