If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
