I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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