my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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