She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
