where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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