I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
