ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
