The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The Olympian is in my bed
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
