I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
