WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
