I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
