So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sober January is a disaster.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
