Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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