i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
