Where did you get a picture of my penis
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
