the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
