$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
