She announced her abortion via fbk
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
