Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
