never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
