3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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