dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
