Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
