so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
