Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
