No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
