i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
