I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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