I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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