Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
