I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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