This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
