If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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