It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize