My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
