I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
