I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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