We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
