his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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