he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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