The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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