Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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