i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
