Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
