so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
