Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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